all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
