wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
