the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
