I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
