life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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