Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just tell him i said nine months
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
