kristin has been a bad kristin
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
