where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
