I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
