As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
