Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
