what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
