this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
