My nipple is on Facebook.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
