How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
