I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Randomize
