I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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