real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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