so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
