I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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