So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
