I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
