Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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