Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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