i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
