just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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