woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
