I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
