why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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