none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We talked him into tasing himself.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
