I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
