I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
