you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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