my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
you had me at cake vodka
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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