Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
