That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
