dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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