Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
