i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
