hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
