Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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