Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
