Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
