Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
