It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
