final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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