I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
