It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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