Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize