oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
