Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
