I hate all girls vehemently.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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