I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
